The Alchemy Projekt

On Jesus and Relevancy...

2010-02-18T11:44:00.001-06:00

this is something my friend Bethany wrote. I thought it was really cool and wanted to run it past you guys. Let me know your thoughts.

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On Jesus and relevancy...

I think there is a philosophical disservice done to the concept of salvation through belief in the "person of Jesus Christ." The invitation is unattractive in its seeming exlusiveness: that all men must come to the recognition of a single path of "enlightenment" contained in a particular individual. What I think has been lost, misrepresented, or deemphasized is the philosophy Christ embodies. The point of emphasis of salvation does not rest simply, though necessarily, in his person alone, but equally on his representation. Perhaps the general fear for this line of thinking is the slippery slope: that to focus on Christ as a philosophy and not as a person would lead to alternative means to God. But such a reduction is not inevitable. For the philosophy of Christ includes his physicality, his humanness. In fact, the very reality of his humanity is what makes salvation through him possible at all, on multiple levels. But where Christ becomes distasteful to the thinker, philosopher, or skeptic is on account of what he has been reduced to. Not only is salvation through Christ open-ended and all-encompassing, but the most inclusive creed of all regarding everything we can recognize as absolutes. What Christians have done in my experience is created sub-cultures and boxes that has left vital elements of truth in the cold. They have excluded the secular world from their indoctrinated applications of his truth in an attempt to create protective hedges from falsifications, from sin. This is not done without seemingly good intentions. Yet it leaves some of us wondering if there "weren't more out there." Having experienced truth elsewhere, Jesus Christ in turn appears lacking, close-minded, and irrelevant. But if we are able to burn these boxes, we will discover that what we are drawn to outside of these self-erected bubbles is still represented in him. When we can enjoy all truth as God's truth, and remember that Christ is God's very essence embodied, it frees us to concentrate all our philosophy of righteousness, goodness, and truth on him and him alone. The fact that God in his graciousness did indeed concentrate all truth into one individual is not exclusive, but infinitely kind. It leaves us looking to one man for answers- rather than the entirety of the cosmos.

Silhouettes & Sinews

2009-11-04T15:27:00.001-06:00

Silhouettes & Sinews

With these fallen angels in the silhouettes and sinews,
It's hard to know what to choose;
What to believe which are truths,
Where the Divine will use,
A life broken, searching, hoping to be,
Something more than free,
To return to a simple unaffected humanity.
Save me Love, move me close to Thee,
I'm looking to make an escape from me
Before daybreak comes to overtake,
The life I can no longer fake,
Too much at stake to risk the break.
So I hide in the silhouette,
And I pray you'll forget or better yet,
Love me without regret.
Beyond the destruction or dysfunction,
Hidden so deep in my soul,
It sometimes makes it hard to function.
The tragedy is that it's not just me,
This world reflects a fragmented humanity,
Forcing us to redefine the mind,
To redeem a broken design.
Because this is the typical affliction of the distinction,
Hidden beneath the inscription,
The words of the melody of conviction,
The sound that resonates through the town,
A peaceful genocide all around,
Souls falling to the ground,
Despite there not being a single sound -
Only the falling of angels, screaming the whole way down.
But I've seen the glimmer, a shimmer of hope,
Born in the words You spoke,
"Blessed are the peacemakers,
For theirs is the Kingdom,
With their hearts they will create freedom.
Blessed are the meek and the merciful,
Blessed are those that hunger,
That thirst for righteousness,
To walk in uprightness.
Blessed are those who mourn,
Whose hearts know brokenness,
Who choose to love despite all this.
Despite a world they wish to leave behind,
As a distant memory of a season's remind.
Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For they shall see God within it.
Within a day that is like a disaster,
A moment deficient, a time reminiscent,
With their souls seeing a time so innocent,
Crying out this is Your hope, this is Your kingdom,
Our hearts a reflection, a temple to the resurrection."
We are forgiven, not forgotten.
Because the Word was with God
And the Word was God
And the Word became flesh to manifest,
All God's truth, to be the proof,
In the silhouettes and sinews.
Within the veins of humanity,
To be the Light, to guide the free,
For the Light will be life to humanity.

A Light in the Darkness... (The Incarnate Series)

2009-08-24T23:28:00.002-05:00

A Light in the Darkness...
- pt 2 of the Incarnate Series

Can you not hear it this night,
His words on my heart,
Declaring itself love tonight?
Bringing with it a movement, a quickness,
That will illuminate the darkness,
With sacrifice remove the sickness.
Rooted in righteousness, fortified in justice,
There will be no end to this,
A kingdom established in David.
Now the day has come, no time to waste,
Let the world make haste,
See a dream that has become flesh,
A voice calling from the wilderness,
With a heart that will not rest,
Crying out, why do you want to die?
Why forget the truth? Why believe a lie?
As a nation, God has blessed, take rest,
For One comes that is His best,
O Israel, is this not your prayer,
That God will send His Son, a Savior?
In His silence have we not called to Thee?
Pondered the mystery of how He might save you and me?
It is this moment that all prophets testified,
How God would redeem us from a lie.
A reconciliation, a redemption time where we no longer die.
Humanity's prayer answered in the shape of man,
So when you ask, i will confess, i will not deny
That there comes one of whom Scripture testifies,
He will be Light, He will set the world to right.
It will cost Him so much, it will cost him everything,
But His heart is secure, His way is sound,
His love is unrelenting and in Him life is found
He will give His life so we might understand,
How God loves us so very much,
That not even Himself is free from sacrifice,
Shattering the lie that tied man to the ground,
Rescuing souls from a wisdom unsound,
On His shoulders will be the weight of peace,
Consecrating a time without cease,
In which He will increase,
And rid the world of sin's disease.
It will be as a revolution or dissolution,
Shining light through the illusion,
That there is no hope for tomorrow,
Only silver and cold and sorrow,
For when He assumes His kingdom,
In our souls there will be freedom,
And forevermore we will become,
Who He longs for us to become...

Beauty & Light

2009-06-10T21:23:00.004-05:00

Beauty & Light

In the subsiding and arising of night,
Dawns beauty born in the light.
The very breath of divinity,
An ever present affinity for humanity,
Creating the nexus of finite with eternity.
An environment free from negativity,
The Garden of Eden, the way we were meant to be,
Where I once again stand because of Your Majesty,
Cause I am a son whose heritage is royalty.
Inside me is the essence of Thee,
Because the Divine came to me.
Not as a spirit in the night,
But as beauty born in the light.
To live a life I never could,
To make decisions I never would,
Defeating this dark resistance,
The black night of the soul, a fragmented existence.
Now I know you don't believe,
That maybe here there's a moment of reprieve,
But trust me, love won't deceive.
Step into the darkness grab one another
Bring beauty & light, free the other.
Just as He sent me so I also send you.
So know what’s true, love is what connects you.
Let them taste the fruit,
Maybe they'll come to know the truth.
Love all, serve all, create a new tomorrow,
Another way to follow, a day without sorrow.
One that mirrors the synchronicity,
The harmony meant to underpin our reality,
But how do we move past the fiction of Christianity,
To a place where all souls can be free?
Not a universal spirituality,
But a love postured towards inclusivity.
This world searches but just can't see,
Jesus called for unity, love without hypocrisy,
Because His followers move with hesitation,
Never trusting the divine revelation,
That we are spirit beings known in meditation.
A space freed from individualistic isolation,
Where God whispers the wisdom of eternity,
A singular reality on the plane of divinity,
The reflection of all He is and all we were meant to be
So let me be quiet, let me be still. Selah...
Breathe into me a divine will.
Let our hearts be so intertwined,
That I don't know Yours from mine.

Environment: The Space You Create for Others to Live In

2009-05-12T15:27:00.003-05:00

Hopefully I'm not disclosing this prematurely but it's a thought that's been wrestling around in my heart and screaming from my soul for quite a while. It's this idea of environments. The more I engage others, am influenced by others, influence others, create experiences, enjoy experiences, change culture and read the stories written on the hearts of all I meet, as well as reflect on the pages of my heart, the more I come to believe we are ever-more interconnected than I originally surmised and more environmental than I could've ever guessed. This truth came erupting from my soul when I immersed myself in the narrative origin of humanity, as perceived through the eyes of Christian faith.

One day, a few months ago, I turned to page one of Scripture (Genesis; Hebrew – “Bereshit,” translated – in the beginning)… I just wanted to know what this world was meant to look like and where the divergent point was that re-shaped the trajectory of human history. What resonated in my soul was the divine freedom given to humanity. The first recorded conversation, nay, the first three recorded words ever spoken by God to man, were, “You are free…” We were meant to be free. To know life. This served to underpin and affirm that my heart naturally desires to move towards an environment of freedom. So where did this divinely breathed freedom go?

So I read on…

What I saw is the story between Adam & Eve. Now, even if you are marginally aware of Christianity or Scripture, you’ve likely heard about this whole debacle with the serpent and the apple; how Eve decided to eat of the apple despite being commanded by God not to and how she offered it to Adam and he ate of it. Forget about any statement of faith here. In this moment, when Eve chose to eat the apple and offered it to Adam, the fact that we are environmental creatures screams off the page. In essence, what happened is that Eve created an environment that made it easier for Adam to choose that which is contrary to God, that which is toxic or even read as, that which is contrary to life (if you read on, it is revealed that this act resulted in immediate spiritual death & eventual physical death). Ultimately, this environment that Eve created for Adam acted as the catalyst for him to choose contrary to God which caused Adam’s relationship to God to be severed... but not just Adam's, because all of humanity died in that moment, along with a piece of God. You see, we killed a piece of His love and in order to restore this, God actually sacrificed His son, so that in His resurrection this love and connection would be resurrected.

Epitomized in this moment is the interdependence of all things... There is a pervasive connectedness that underscores the human story. That with one man all of humanity's connection with God was severed and with one man, all of humanity's connection with God was reconciled. We were meant to be one. To move as one. To see our lives not as individualized, disconnected experiences but a shared, communal experience.

And so with this reflection, my heart grieved… wondering… how many people have I created an environment for that cost them their life?

The questions I had to ask myself then became – What kind of an environment am I creating for others? In the wake of my life, will others know more freedom? Will my life breathe life into the lives of those I engage? Will others come to know wholeness because my soul touches theirs with love, leading them to the feeding ground of life? What will be my legacy? When my dreams are woven into the underlying texture of human history, will it enhance the story? Or will it merely be another wasted life, gone from the autumn to the ash?

Ether to Reality

2009-04-12T20:11:00.002-05:00

Ether to Reality...

You stand in your pulpit calling the decadent,
To repent, call forth the innocent,
Come closer to God, speak the word of Truth,
Restore the years of your youth,
All the while your smile and denial,
Cover the multitude of sins to be revisited again,
With your words the sanctuary is humming,
Numbing the hearts of those succumbing,
To the words and ways of a false prophesy,
Which in reality is the message of captivity,
But in essence, isn't this what we all fear to be?
A stereotype or living hypocrisy,
Attaching the name of God to mediocrity,
Oh Lord, may it never be that way with me!
Let my pride subside, let me abide and thrive,
In the Name of Love, with the Spirit of Life,
Speak to me in dreams unseen,
But let them move from the ether to reality,
Where on the wings of tomorrow's morn,
We will rise like eagles at the dawn,
Never forgetting our way to Thee,
Bound to your precepts yet walking at liberty,
Leading others to Divine community,
Because our breath declares the presence of Thee,
Your very fingerprints on the essence of me,
Awakening thoughts of this ineffable mystery,
So that I might live out your legacy...

Meditations, Reflections & Words

2009-04-12T00:33:00.002-05:00

(my apologies for the choppiness or incoherence of this explanation... kind of tired when writing)

Maybe you aren't like me but here's my issue... I actually have to try to be good. Being mediocre or being selfish or being hurtful or making toxic decisions seems to come so naturally to me. My natural proclivity is to move towards brokenness. Maybe the astrophysicists are right - maybe all things in this universe struggle through a state of entropy, naturally breaking down. I think this is even true in a metaphysical sense because if you examine my experience, my soul, my heart, my emotions and my life naturally move to this place of brokenness. There is a real effort needed to overcome, a real struggle to succeed. Life is not effortless.

But here's what else I know about me. As I come before God and say as David says in Psalm 26, "Search me and know me, oh God..." I begin to heal. All the self-inflicted wounds, all the scars from when life pressed against me so hard I broke, all the bitterness and self-loathing begin to melt because of this movement. At the root of this movement is desire, as desire seems to be at the root of all movement; and so I've understood this movement to be faith because it is the movement towards who God longs for me to become. So this movement is particularly unique because the catalyst is the breath of new life that God breathes into my soul by way of Christ's love, as love is life. With this new life comes hope. The hope that tomorrow can be better than today. This is the freedom I've grown to love in Christ.

Meditations, Reflections & Words

The meditations of my heart
Always seem to go one way
Never the path that finds You
Rather leading me astray

The reflections of my soul
Present a broken humanity
Desiring only to be whole
Rather desperately

The words of my mouth
Never seem to please even me
So I wonder if they find You
Ever smiling at me...

The moments of my life
Always fall short of my dreams
Which make me question -
Why dream if I lack the means?

But God, the faith You've given me,
Moves me from this moment to the next,
Though I know not where it ends,
I know You'll be there with every step.

And God, the love You've shown me,
Instills peace that I'll never understand.
So I need not know all of Your plans,
Rather I give You my life, all that You demand.

Oh God, how marvelous Your hope,
The belief that tomorrow can be better than today
Cause in this moment, with Your grace,
I can forget the sorrows of yesterday

It is here I recognize Your Son, Your Savior,
A salvation that frees me eternally,
With Your love that pursues relentlessly,
Ever presently, always releasing me...

Shattered

2009-04-02T15:20:00.000-05:00

Shattered

What can you say about tomorrow?
Will it bring me joy or sorrow?
Will it bring life or will it bring death?
There seems to be a war within this breath,
Where the world calls me a dissenter
To tender my dreams, surrender,
To give up all that I remember.
But I cannot. I refuse to end here.
Because my God does inspire the fire,
That perpetually fuels my desire,
Never to succumb,
To fight this war for freedom
From a life ordinary,
As only God could call me.
But today started in disarray,
My thoughts shattered, my heart astray,
Forcing me to press against the truth
Spoken by God, heard in my youth,
Reminding me I need to lean to stand to win,
To stand against the wind, to live again,
Because I was born to fight for freedom
I was born to fight for freedom
To usher in the kingdom,
To tell the story of hope and peace,
Of a love without cease,
Lives freed by a rebel movement,
Bringing hope that is imminent,
As hearts are postured toward insurrection,
Finding faith in the resurrection
So I say rise and fight!
Be the light - rage against the night!
Against the lion who lies in wait,
Waiting to devour and desecrate.
So don't let the moment evaporate.
Don't hesitate or contemplate
Whether to walk toward this fate.
Pray only for the courage to burn,
The wisdom to discern,
God's plan and learn,
Which step is meant to be next,
Where the Spirit and your life intersect.
Cultivating dreams from the darkness
Where God emerges in our midst,
Illuminating the street where we are to meet,
In a moment standing discrete,
The world beneath your feet,
Never again wondering where He's been,
Because in these dreams He reveals Himself again,
Never to be missed, always in our midst,
Bringing light to the darkness.

Continual Fire (The Incarnate Series)

2009-03-21T00:56:00.003-05:00

This is the third spoken word piece from The Incarnate Series. It is meant to present the birth of Christ in a context that postures the reader to look forward. To see that Christ, His Spirit, His movement, His story, will resonate for all eternity. That God dreamed of a day when humanity would once again be reconciled with Himself. That God moved as the catalyst to bring this dream into reality through the birth, death and resurrection of His Son. But to do so, cost Him. It didn't just cost Him His life, it cost Him his love... For God so loved us, He endured separation from His Son while upon the cross. That His Son so loved us, He is willing to pour out the days of His life for our good. But not just that - but that He so earnestly desired that we once again be free as we once were in the Garden, that He is willing to endure a love that will go unrequited so long as humanity walks this earth. He is willing to do so because, though His heart breaks for every soul that remains shattered, He rejoices with every heart that moves from stone back to flesh. For in this moment, they will receive life that endures. They will live even if they die... And so I wrote this from the perspective that we should remain postured forward, always moving towards the dream God realized in His Son because we are privileged to be a part of it if we so choose.

Continual Fire

Listen, can't you hear - There's a voice calling through the years,
Culminating in a moment to allay all fears,
The synergy of temporal with eternity,
A life given of divine community.
A reconciliation of God with humanity.
A reckoning, a convergence, a finality,
To days spent outside God's reality,
Which truly is a life of duplicity.
So tonight I close mine eyes beneath moonlit skies,
Hoping these moments are not a dream in disguise,
Cause inside me is a fire that burns continually,
Reminding me of the tragedy,
That is the history of humanity,
Showing me what I wish to no longer see,
The blackness of my soul, the essence of me.
But in this moment, with this decree,
The sky turned red over me,
A symphony of angels sings of Your glory,
Of a child born in infamy's story,
Because the Caesar feared Your birth,
As it will be like none other to walk the earth,
For not even death can hold Thee.
And though our lives remain but a breath,
Your life overcomes all, even death,
Granting a peace without cease.
And this peace you long to give those with whom you are pleased,
Knowing in their hearts it is well received.
This is Your promise and passion and mission
The Word of God generating vision,
And so with this life, with this vision,
The Word does testify.
He comes to purify, to glorify,
To penetrate and consecrate,
A world once thought lost,
Now redeemed, His life the cost
These are the moments I forget the deception,
Of the serpent with whom is found sin's inception.
Because I know in this instance,
God moves... closing the distance,
Between where my heart is and where His hope lies,
Releasing me from an eternity of slavery,
An indestructibile futility
Of a neverending pursuit of harmony,
Without a God to slay mine enemies.
And with but a word, He speaks what my heart denies,
That all I ever knew was limits and lies.
And with these words, with His heart,
Is the reconciliation of humanity,
To a God who longs only for them to be free...
Free from a life of sinful captivity.
To a place where we can never die,
In a relationship we can never leave,
Immersed in a love I can never deny.
It is the liberation of a mind in isolation,
Because in this imagination is a fascination,
Of a life inextricably intertwined,
Between the body, the soul and the mind
So we see His story is not an apparition, a tragedy,
But God's dream that is so costly,
With wings to speak of, with a way to be,
A dream of hope, a dream that's free,
A dream forever calling to me...

From Exclusion to Embrace

2009-01-19T00:45:00.003-06:00

Stemmed from thoughts on theodicy (how can a good God exist with evil basically) after listening to some of Plotinus's musings on the philosophical problem of evil. Interesting stance from neo-platonism. Made me think of the nature of evil and how it might be more a matter of degrees than so much a black and white issue. How when we choose the lesser of two distinctions that is evil in a sense. Not that it is contrary to goodness because there are elements of goodness in the choice but more so that it leaves an unrealized potential which is evil in a sense (which in reality makes discerning that much harder, thus making it all the more important to be immersing yourself in God's heart - Ephesians 4:8) . Think of the parable of the talents. The man who buried his talent is called wicked, maybe even evil, because he did not exploit what was entrusted to him to its greatest extent. He didn't even try and that was wicked. So it is with life - we are entrusted with so many moments and relationships and blessings, that for us to merely bury them or hide them or just selfishly enjoy them without sharing, to not utilize them or attempt to improve them is evil. God calls us to more. He calls us to not just dream with Him but to move with Him in bringing those dreams into reality. That is somewhat my fear - what dreams are left merely in the imagination of God because I was too afraid, too lazy, too selfish or too whatever to actually move on them. Thus, the problem with evil is the problem with me.

From Exclusion to Embrace

Did you ever wonder how a good God could exist like this
with an evil that does persist
With what seems like more than any man can bare
Almost as if God isn't there or doesn't even care
I do every time I hurt or someone needlessly dies
Wondering where God is with so many questions and why's
As a reaction, we attempt to order or determine this life's flow
In doing so, we too often pretend we know
How the world works within God's design
Maybe the problem is that are so few moments in time,
To figure out this design and just shine,
So life exists within a restricted paradigm,
In which we try to keep God in line,
To help us understand all the ways,
We move from exclusion to embrace.
But before we actually understand,
Or attempt to determine a Divine plan,
We must first stir in the reflection,
Of how this world is fitted in imperfection,
That there exists an evil outside of us,
An evil that attempts to abide in all of us.
It's existence perplexes the best of us,
So we develop a paradigm like fortress,
Where we fool ourselves to thinking
Things are ok, never even blinking,
But realize, to leave it here is sinister,
Cause if you never wrestle, you'll never minister,
And so here the discussion begins
Not for the first time but again.
For something to exist, it must possess,
A set of determinacy that does confess,
It is part of a greater reality,
But in essence falls short of what it was meant to be
It is the fundamental differential
That is the incremental potential
That manifests itself in a matter of degrees
Where evil is always the lesser of these
Two distinctions that fight to testify
That it should be chosen as the other is a lie.
One of these will lead to unfettered satisfaction
The other - merely a distraction
Keeping us from knowing life, knowing Thee
As all things derive from Thee inherently.
So the question then becomes a bit ambiguous
Calling out to God something like this,
Is it a series of gradations
Where the perfect is Your salvation?
Taking a life of mere potentiality
Moving it into reality
Beyond the finite, beyond the duality,
Beyond the form, beyond the norm.
A common thread, This common dread
An inexplicable uncertainty
That just paralyzes me.
A fear that envelops every bit of me
The fear that I'll never realize what You have for me,
Never know Your divine legacy, only hypocrisy,
A modern day Cain - On my head the mark of disdain.
Forced to wanders this earth alone like a refugee
But I recount my days with Thee
Remembering You are the Invincible Principle,
The Penultimate Pinnacle
The First of All things, the Sovereign Creator,
With a breath brought about all meaning
With but a word called me into being
Thus it is here I confess all things
That You are my bloody Messiah King
Realizing the problem with evil is the problem with me
It is the eternal question of theodicy
Does our God suffer with us or let us be?
Will we cast onto the wind our sorrows,
Or revisit them in infinite tomorrows?
Forgetting how God forgave, how God gave,
His One and only Son at the cross to save,
My shattered soul for eternity
Despite the contemporary thinking of modernity.
That there is no reprieve,
No solace, no reason to believe
But they fail to see the rebellion of the free
The blood of the righteous hanging on the tree
A sacrifice that forever changed the course of history
A blood drenched landscape that is the gift of the free

Love Like A Whisper

2008-12-19T10:55:00.001-06:00

Love Like A Whisper

I can hear it this night,
Your words on my heart,
Declaring itself love tonight.
It promises a truth, an honesty,
That will write its story,
On the hearts of all those it encounters,
Bringing with it a movement, a quickness,
That will illumniate the darkness,
With sacrifice, remove the sickness.
And so... it will be called love.
An infinite, endless love.
This love like a revolution,
A revolution of whispers.
A love calling for dissolution,
To the notion of self above others.
Resulting in the death of an identity,
That exists separate and alone,
With no hope, only futility.
Only separation from true life,
Found in love's community.
And so it is,
This love like a whisper,
A revolution of hearts,
Moving us to the center.
No longer in the shadow,
But bringing us all together.
And with this great canticle
We'll sing this anthem to our God,
"We are coming home to Thee,
For You have set us free."

A Soul's Recompense

2008-12-16T15:46:00.000-06:00

A Soul's Recompense

Today is the day I must confess,
That in yesterday's mourning I did reposess,
A life never meant to be mine,
A heart thought gone from time.
But here I am, such a mess,
A heart in utter distress,
Stranded with today, so meaningless,
Here my soul seeks to recompense,
The Almighty's steadfastness.
A way from the hopelessness,
That I find in all the world ascribes,
Hope and glory in a deceitful diatribe.
If I only understood Your majesty,
Taste reprieve from my heart's tragedy
Then this moment would not conquer me,
Serenity no longer a fantasy.
And I could live with Thee, triumphantly,
In all the days that are to come,
Our spirits intertwined as one,
Awakening a dream thought undone,
Consumed by a fire on the run,
No longer imprisoned by false truth,
Choices of an ill-spent youth,
A generation lost to the veneration,
Of a soul's dissipation or degredation.
Because what they call solution,
Is truly just an illusion,
A complication and instigation,
Of a life comprised of only brokenness,
Simply less than all God meant for us.
So here we are God, broken & alone,
No heart to hold on to, no place is home.
No way to atone.
So here I am God, in the midst of this,
Knowing I must confess,
That I struggle to know if it's worth all this,
That I need Your strength in this,
Now it is my soul's recompense,
Confessing that You are my everything,
Conveying purpose for the living,
A divine treasure, never-ending pleasure,
A life eternal without measure.
Refreshing me with joy in the mourning,
Breaking me from this world's conforming,
It is here You release me from the weight of this,
A heart burdened by sin's inheritance,
A heart of stone now with innocence,
Becoming flesh despite all this.
Reminding me that as the dew is glistening,
You are ever watchful, ever listening,
To the prayers of the broken,
Moving on the truths You've spoken.
That You are a God who hears us as we cry,
Your heart breaking, forgiveness You won't deny...

Oh God, how I long for Your forgiveness, Your grace and mercy and loving kindness. Thank you, Oh Lord, for Your sacrifice. For Your love. For Your neverending pursuit of us. Thank you, for You are worthy.

Beyond the Boundaries...

2008-10-26T14:07:00.003-05:00

Beyond the Boundaries...

I believe that Christ's death and resurrection,
Instigated a spiritual insurrection,
But if we limit ourselves to Scripture,
Will we miss the whole picture?
This is what the world wonders,
And in these moments, I ponder.
Understand I profess Yeshua at the center
This tale is not meant to be the words of a heretical dissenter,
Rather the liberation of a mind in isolation
Because in this imagination is a fascination,
Of a life inextricably intertwined,
Between the body, the soul and the mind
And so here I am and I dream...
Not because my mind is full of rhymes,
But my heart with a vision for the times.
This is my life, this is my light.
These words are God's gift to me tonight,
Thus, I pray my heart be contrite,
To foster this sacred space,
Where I might come to see His face.
So it is here I dream the dream of dreams,
Songs of beauty, whispering the means,
Of a life far beyond the boundaries,
That this world attempts to confide in me,
Because I know there is a future just waiting,
For me, to begin creating,
Shaping today, so tomorrow might look different,
Possibly reflecting the face of God within it.
So I challenge my people to look within,
Realize there's more beneath this skin.
For we are spirit in primal essence,
A picture of the Eternal, God within us.
Once you begin to see this reality,
The walls will fall, there will be no limit, no finality,
To the dreams you live while awake,
All the days of your life they overtake,
Cause there's only but a moment in time,
To live this life, till the days sublime...

A Lonely Night in Bangkok

2008-10-22T14:40:00.001-05:00

A Lonely Night in Bangkok

Listen - can't you hear?
It's the sound of a solemn tear,
A heart breaking from fear,
Cause there's a whole generation missin'
Not the body but the spirit wishin'
That in this time and place it didn't exist,
Because there are men that couldn't resist,
The temptation of stealing beauty,
Desecrating someone for eternity.
So listen, as they tell their story through me...

There's a war of irreverent politics and policy,
That allows you not to look at me,
Not to see within me,
The dignity of humanity.
So there must be a call to fight.
A call to win.
A call to stand against the wind.
With our hands and feet inspire.
With our hearts desire,
To set all those free,
That live in captivity.
But first, what you must realize,
Is that behind these eyes,
Burns the hope of freedom,
A dream that has yet to come.
So when I sing this song,
I have faith the day will not be long,
That when my heart does call,
You will respond, crying freedom for all.
Leverage your position of influence,
That no one else might experience this.
I believe that when this day comes,
It will be my captor that runs,
And these feelings of dissonance will fade,
Replaced by the innocence you forced me to trade,
For the looks and lears of men passing by,
Asking if they could try as I wished that I might die,
But now you see! Now you know!
Tell everyone of this war that does grow.
Fight with me - let us unify,
And in one voice, with a freedom war cry,
We will in unity defy,
This peaceful genocide,
That might not kill the body,
But always steals the soul,
Confining what once ran wild,
The hope, the beauty, the imagination of a child.

So if you are anything like me,
Your heart will well up instinctively.
Your mind will race,
Dreaming of a day commonplace,
Where we will dance on the ashes of villains,
Of the wicked among us who are spillin'
Of those who chose to spend,
Their days between the funk and the fire,
Not helping others from the muck and myre,
Rather, they preyed on this world's purity,
Moving innocence to obscurity.
Forcing me to ask myself,
If for nothing else,
When my days come to an end,
When did I stand up? Who did I defend?

Awaken The Dawn

2008-06-15T14:26:00.000-05:00

Awaken the Dawn

I hear this symphony awaken me
Pulling me, pushing me
A symphony of tragedy, a symphony of peril
A symphony of clarity
A thousand voices singing collectively
Telling me -
Carry my head this way
Don't let the night decide your day
So I hold fast in the hope I've found
Somewhere between the dust and the dark around
Where my God called to me
Telling me,
"Trust in Me -
I'll show you what this all means.
Life is not meant to be lived in dreams,
But these dreams are meant to be your life.
So watch how I build this empire
Watch how I awake the dawn.
Watch how the world will rise and fall
All this on My word's call.
Because I am the Sovereign Architect of the day,
Look to me and you will never lose your way.
Never be afraid to walk through the dark,
My love for you will be this perpetual spark,
That in your bones will light a fire burning
And in your heart will be a Spirit discerning,
Every step you need to take,
So you will know that I will never leave,
I will never walk away,
Despite how you might choose today
For I will be with you,
Even to the ends of the age."
These thoughts awaken me,
And as I rise,
These words envelop me
Covering me
With the blood of Thee
These thoughts take over me,
And like a vision or beautiful epiphany,
There is a moment of lucidity.
Breaking me from this world's conformity.
Now my heart will never be the same to any degree
And though this moment is fleeting
I swear, God,
I can feel Your heart beating,
Playing a rhythm so steadfast and repeating,
I get so lost in it I forget my own breathing,
It inspires movement in this heart so weary
It brings hope to these eyes, tired and bleary
And as I stand here,
Somewhere between fear and faith
I know that tomorrow cannot wait
So I take a deep breath understanding,
This may possibly be my last
And I pray,
Lord, please raise me up
For I do not want to be known
As the failure of a wasted life
Gone from autumn to the ash...

My Heart's Requiem...

2008-05-28T18:04:00.001-05:00

yeah there are quite a few in this vein, but this is it. the last one. done.
________________________________________

My Heart's Requiem/Requiem for a Heart

Oh, carry my heart away,
Sing the requiem for the day,
That left me with nothing,
But a heart that's always waiting.
It seems I have a choice though,
But why won't I ever let go?
This place has broken me,
So many times it has shaken me
Like the ocean, it is consuming me
Taking my heart and my dreams
But I keep falling into
All the same feelings that hurt me
Now I have to abandon these
Conjure up a dream of a new place
Away from where the ocean meets the sand
Some distance from the memory of your hand in my hand
A new place, somewhere outside of misery
Where I can let go of these hopes and dreams
Some place where I don't have to care
Some place beyond this deep blue nothing
That just keeps chasing me
God, it hurts me not to care
To see my hope vanished in the air
My only thought, "How could this be?"
So I take a breath and remember when
This hope would carry me in
In to the next day, when,
Things used to be different then
It was once a dream of a crystal coastline
A dream that I could never forget
But now it's time to wake up
Move on with the shake up
I will never ever again know you that way
I will never again see the day,
Where I was your choice,
Your reason for smiling,
A name never far from your lips
Impressed upon your heart
Cause now I'm alone in here
How did I not know this would happen again?
Do you see the mark you left on my heart?
It left me such a mess the first time
And now, because of your choice
It has shown up here & I'm alone again
But now it's time for me to wake up
And wash away what I once called my own
Maybe forget all the things you said
Forget the love now dead
Abandon all the half-truths you ever spoke to me
Cause there's no more chances to be
What I'd always hoped and seen
The fire's gone out in my heart,
There is no more passion burning in these bones
Just a heart that's hurting, feeling so alone...

Secondhand Dreams

2008-05-14T22:22:00.000-05:00

Secondhand Dreams

As I look around tonight
It's like the city's in slow motion
Appearing as if in a dream
And standing here alone
Everything seems to fade away
I guess I don't have much to offer here
Just a fleeting glimpse of hope
And these secondhand dreams
A brief moment in time
Where I'm hoping only to find
A heart moving faster than it seems,
Whispering my name.
But I am so foolish to believe
That when I wake up,
It'll be in your arms.
So please forget
Or possibly pretend
That my heart was ever even here
Cause reality is sinking in
And I need to walk away
From what will never be again
Or I will spend a lifetime waiting
For a day that will never come
A moment spent contemplating
How these dreams came undone
How you're never coming home to me
I guess it was all just an illusion
A vision of this broken heart's secondhand dreams
But before I take my leave
I want you to know
How much it is you mean to me
How I've never stopped loving you
Despite the situation or means
Cause the light in your eyes
Shines like a thousand graceful suns
It's just that now,
I have no words left to say
My heart has screamed your name
And is returning to me hollow
Like an echo calling back the same
With no form or substance
Not even a reason for its existence
All it seems to do, is resonate a cry
That reminds me of how I am empty inside
Left hollow by a love that has long since died
So my heart wonders - why is this happening to me?
All I ever wanted was a chance to love again
Don't you see
You meant everything to me...
For so long my heart held on tight
Not wanting to ever let you go
But the time is now here
I've let go of these adolescent dreams
And now my heart falls further and further
But babe, don't you worry
I promise
This hope was worth the fall
Cause I loved you most of all...

Empty Set

2008-05-14T22:20:00.000-05:00

Empty Set

This sorrow that plagues me
This sorrow that holds me
Finds me in a moment of sincerity
Grappling with labored intensity
Wondering,
How does everything come out wrong?
My heart, my dreams, this song
All of it comes undone
Till we become this empty set
A brood of carnivores, a pack of wolves
Longing only to prey on the flesh
Of the sweet, sweet heart of those who give
Devouring each other night and day
Never needing to sleep
Because there are no dreams left in me
Only an empty set, an empty shell
And so here I remain
But only to justify
This existence that's come undone
A life contained but never defined
Smiled upon, praised even for the words I speak
Oh, please never speak my name again
Cause I'm now singled out for eternity
Held to the standard I've painted
But in my heart, I know this will never last
Lord please raise me up
For I do not want to be known
As the failure of a wasted life
Gone from autumn to the ash...

Already There

2008-02-20T23:02:00.004-06:00

Already There

Do our lives even tell the truth?
I don't think they ever do.
All my heart wants is to be with You
But so often I walk closer to me.
And i wondered, how did i get this far?
Cause when I looked up,
I couldn't even see you.
Maybe I was never there,
Maybe I just looked the other way...
Luckily for me, there's a lifetime left to live,
Hoping that this life'll lead to the truth.
So I work up the courage to run to You
I'm so sure Your heart holds the truth
And for whatever it is worth,
My life will be Yours from this day to the end,
Never having to pretend,
That the answers are in my hands,
But in my heart,
I hear you calling my name from afar,
Just crying out, please come home
I so desperately want to make you whole...
So I wipe the tears from my eyes
And I look around, I am already there.
I am already there.

Henei ma tov umanaim
Shevet achim gam yachad
Sinei ma tov umanaim
Shevet achim gam yachad

(Behold how good and
How pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together
Behold how good and
How pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together)

The Hills of Zion

2008-02-15T12:48:00.001-06:00

The Hills of Zion

I hear the hills of Zion calling me.
Begging, please, let me set you free,
Walking amongst my meadows I wish you to be,
Always feeling the peace you long to see.

And out of the silence I hear the Spirit calling,
Grab ahold of me and I'll stop your falling.
My hearts aches for you to stop these wicked choices,
Always struggling to shake those same dark voices.

Behold, in the wilderness His Son is speaking,
Shouting, "It is me whom you are seeking."
"It is only I who can save,
My life for you I gave."

Now the Father speaks in a thunderous voice,
Under which, I hear a thousand angels rejoice.
My beloved child, look at the price I've paid.
My One and Only Son, at the cross I have laid.

Seeing that I'm shackled by my sin,
Walking a line that's so paper thin,
I pray, "Lord, break these chains that bind me
Because in the Hills of Zion I long to be."

No Hope For Tomorrow...

2008-02-11T16:12:00.000-06:00

No Hope For Tomorrow...

I am the suffering. The one here waiting.
But there is no hope for tomorrow.
Only silver and cold and sorrow.

This thought, now my only possession,
Purely an obsession, of disenchanted dreams,
A broken heart still lacking the means,

To overcome these feelings that come rushing,
Taking the little hope left in my heart,
Turning black the skies all the days we're apart,

But, we'll be apart forever,
So I cannot stay here or it'll kill me in time
And there are no angels coming to find,

If my heart can stand on its own.
No love to save me from this reality,
Just a reckoning, a convergence of finality.

No day of the phoenix, rising from the ashes
No stars falling from the sky tonight
No hope for tomorrow or second sight.

I can remember a place that was so bright,
Now a place of disappointment where apathy outlasts
Any form of hope, trying to forget my past.

I never ever wanted this!
I just wanted to believe that my dreams.
Could take me from a life buried in flames.

So I attach my dreams to makeshift wings
Flying high above the sun
Attempting to catch a spirit, to be as one,

But this evening, as the sky turns red,
A longing to stay on the ground comes o'er me
It's hard to notice, this feeling grows slowly.

My eyes, now downward cast,
Staring only at the cracks in the dirt,
Seeing how they all lead to this heart that hurts.

A poisoned heart that won't walk away,
Wings that won't ride the wind today,
A lack of trust in my deeds this way.

So my only hope is that things are as You say.
Cause my arms are too weak to pull me up,
And this distance is too far to jump.

Though I suffer in silence, please come rescue me.
I don't know how long till my eyes dry out,
Or when my heart will finally wash me out.

That way, when the sun goes down tonight,
I don't have to say, there's no hope for tomorrow,
But rather a moment of reprieve from this sorrow.

Beneath the Skin

2008-02-08T16:41:00.000-06:00

Beneath the Skin

My heart is a terrible liar
Trying to soothe me with childish lullabies
Hoping to bring me peace
But tonight, a song is not enough.
This time it calls for so much more.
Tonight is the night we examine ourselves.
Beneath this face, beneath this skin
Lay a heart breaking from within.
Haunted by a love now left behind
Daunted by a task I have yet to find
Hoping this will only get better in time
Tell me, are you happy where you are,
Away from me, wearing another scar?
Does your heart feel like it's going to suffocate?
Or do you find that you can only placate,
The desire to count the hours we're apart?
My heart does
So I decide to take a match to my past
Because if I burn my past to the ground,
It can no longer hang over me.
It no longer take hold of me.
And under this sky, we both lie,
I tell my heart, that I am done
But it tells me I have found one,
One that helps bring life and love
Calling Him as my Father's Son above.
This truth now strips away
What was but a fruitless day
Bringing me back to Your name
Jehovah Jireh, my Provider
My Lord, my true desire...

Between Two Faces

2008-02-08T16:23:00.001-06:00

Between Two Faces

Between who we are
And who we want to be
Lie the two faces,
That the world knows as me
My eyes are now opened wide
But still, I struggle to see,
Which face is a lie.
Am I so far from home,
That I can't even bring myself to try?
All my hopes and dreams
Are nothing what I thought they were
Feeding a listless life
Feeling hollow to the core
This endless search for something more
Consumes all the daylight
Possibly so much more
Till there are no dreams left tonight
So this evening
Instead of dreaming
I work to reconcile what I see as two
Struggling to make them one,
Hopefully, before the night is through.
So every morning I pray to God,
Please take this life, make me one.
One with the Father,
One with the Son.
Let me never cease striving to be,
Unfettered, living for eternity.
Because inside, there is a tension
A struggle, killing me from within
And though I'd rather close my eyes,
Pretending it'll all pass me by,
I cannot accept this
I cannot live another lie...

Lord, just as You and the Father are one
So I long to be with You today
My heart a reflection of Yours
My life, a beacon of hope this day.

===============================

struggle...

A Broken Psalm

2008-01-04T14:09:00.000-06:00

A Broken Psalm

We’ve been running out of fear for so long
It’s so hard to keep my head in this mess
Cause I’m about to drop my heart
And I’m afraid of coming up empty-handed
I’d be willing to set it all ablaze
Burn our past down to the ground
It’s time to take a stand,
Call for redemption
Maybe even begin again

Oh God, wake me up inside
Be a light unto my feet
Lead me on to victory
Whether I be in this relationship
Even whether I stay or go
Bring me closer to Your heart,
Closer to Your name, tell me everything
Give me another shot at this life
Change me from the inside

Maybe even begin again
Call for redemption
It’s time to take a stand
Burn our past down to the ground
I’d be willing to set it all blaze
And I’m afraid of coming up empty-handed
Cause I’m about to drop my heart
It’s so hard to keep my head in this mess
We’ve been running out of fear for so long…

Love and Understanding

2008-01-03T18:19:00.001-06:00

Love and Understanding

Sometimes life feels so impossible
The only thing I can do is cling to You
I'm looking for love and understanding,
Clarity of thought to get through
What seems to be an insurmountable day.
Why don't I live like I'm dying for eternity
In the end, all these ambitions go with yesterday
So is it all for nothing?
Is it meaningless as Solomon says?
Apart from You, God, I know it is.
Still though, I wonder if there's a remedy
For all these wasted breaths
It's so frightening to know I'm free
But continue to wear these shackles
Jesus once threw off my feet
Only to put them on again and again
Thinking they provide a life less frightening
So I stand between the end and where we lie
Hoping only to capture at least a single dream
Not letting it break until the daylight catches me
Lighting up my soul with love & understanding
Where Your heart is closer than mine,
Inside my chest it's beating
Where Your breath gives life,
in my soul, I can feel You breathing...

Roots of My Dreams

2007-12-30T22:19:00.000-06:00

Roots of My Dreams

In the cool grey of the morning
I wake
Thoughts of you still on my mind
Dreams lingering
From a lonely night behind
Not able to take all the wonders and why's

In the cool grey of the morning
I hope.
Hoping that today,
I won't break down.
Ushering in signs of new life,
New times,
New adventures with you around.

In the midst of the day,
I stop,
Beginning to think of you,
My heart stumbles.
Struggling to find the words,
Searching for your heart.

In the midst of the day,
I wait,
To hear of a moment,
Filled with new things
Of new days and,
New memories of us together.

In the midst of the day,
I wish.
For these dreams
To come from your heart.
To see it in your eyes, so precious.
With words spoken by your lips.

In the silence of the night,
I see,
The end of a day where,
I'm still looking for the touch of your hand.
Like an angel from heaven,
With dreams of our love.

In the silence of the night,
I hear,
Angels' voices singing.
Speaking your name.
Over and over again,
Over and over again.

In the silence of the night,
I hear,
The echo of your words,
Lingering on my heart.
Causing me,
To hold fast hope tonight.

In the silence of the night,
I fall,
Slipping beneath the sound,
Of one heart beating.
Reminding me of what I'm fighting for.
Two hearts united, rooted in dreams.

A Moment of Imperfect Clarity

2007-12-30T01:48:00.000-06:00

A Moment of Imperfect Clarity

It's so hard, in these hours alone,
Not to let the silence take you from home
To distract yourself from all the imperfections
That are cast on the water as a reflection
Of what looks only to be a fractured life
Full of decisions that caused nothing but strife
Now, I try to remember that God promises a fulness unknown
But really, that's the hardest because,
It seems like when you finally see it, it's gone...
like lightning
Falling from the sky
You fall with it,
Letting out quite an unremarkable cry
And when you do finally hit the ground
Your ears go deaf from the sound
But not from the noise all around
From the scream within your soul that resounds
And your eyes, in kind,
Start going blind
From the tears that are wept unseen
Losing hope from the lies that make up
So many broken dreams
Tell me, what's the secret?
I promise, I can keep it...
Please. Don't make me fake it,
I know love can break it
Break the cycle of a shattered existence
Longing only to create some distance
Between a past that plagues me
And a place away from this insanity
A moment in time that does not conform me
To a world that wishes only to devour me
Away from a sanctuary with correct theology
But instead, I seek Your heart, Your serenity
Because,
Jah, in the end,
With You I find acceptance
A return to innocence
Lord God, You are my refuge, my solace,
The very reason for my existence...

The Alchemy Index

2007-12-18T23:12:00.001-06:00

The Alchemy Index

Tell me are you free
Or has this deluge overtaken me?
This absolute depravity.
Is your heart marked with fear?
Is it marked with trembling?
Here I am God
Lift my soul
Let love saturate
Touch my heart
Touch my soul
I want to walk beneath the fear
That is pushing me, pushing in
Your love that never ends
Because You're alive, and
I am not alone!
You've called out my days,
I am known.
No longer will the dead stay that way
No longer will my soul scream
Just for a glimpse of the unseen
Your love is moving us from in between
So I cry out
This is my alchemy index
Changing my heart
From stone to flesh

The Sufferer & The Witness

2007-12-14T17:44:00.000-06:00

The Sufferer & The Witness

Would you know my name if,
I never came out on the winners' side again?
Recently this season of defeat & ideas of loss
Pierce my thoughts about what has been
What will be, what will never be again.

In a night so reckless, thoughts come witless
Crashing down around my feet
Along with the will to overcome defeat
So now the curtain falls but I still sing
Echoes of the Spirit act as a harbinger of what He may bring

I know now who You are, despite all the scars
You are the endurance of the Saints
The beating of our hearts, giving us a name
You are the Sufferer, the Witness, our Catalyst
My God, the Lord is with us

Like A Whisper

2007-11-28T16:05:00.000-06:00

Like A Whisper

Today,
My heart cries out
Though it may sound like a whisper, Because
The weight of what I should've done
In that very moment
Comes crashing in.
So my heart calls out
Calls out to You like a child
God, I just want to do the right thing
But the right thing never feels real
It's like life only speaks in riddles
So outside, I cry out for attention
While inside I just try to hide
And forget about all the times
I knew the right thing
But I never even tried
And within those moments,
I write the epitaph
For a life less lived
Where forever
I'll bare
the moniker
of
The infamous hypocrite known as me.

The Lost World

2007-07-23T00:29:00.000-05:00

The Lost World

We have all gone astray - We have shunned the Lord
Looking for truth in so many different places
We have all gone our own way, though his spirit poured
We get confronted by so many different faces

Who has believed Him?
Who has seen the Light of Life?
By His wounds we are healed,
For our peace, He was crucified

And as I wander through the lost world
I see so little hope, such little faith
As I wander through the lost world, I know
I'll never find my home if I'm without Your grace

Masquerade, lack of hope - place it in a lie
There's got to be something more to this life
Shut the door, close the mind - changing like the tide
There's no such thing as the eternal high

Who has believed Him? Led like a lamb to the slaughter
Oppressed and afflicted, He poured out His life unto death

And as I wander through the lost world
I see so little hope, such little faith
As I wander through the lost world, I know
I'll never find my home if I'm without Your grace

Come all who are thirsty, drink and you will see
For the god of this generation, has made us blind!

Who has believed Him?
Who has seen the Light of Life?
By His wounds we are healed,
For the punishment that brought us peace - He was crucified!

=================================================
based on Isaiah 53 & 2 Corinthians 4:4
written by Mike Abramson & Lance Miller...

Sustain Me

2007-07-17T14:39:00.000-05:00

another old one that Lance and I wrote. this was actually a really good song...

Sustain Me

O wash me, O Lord
Cleanse me of this guilt
Let me hold on again
Cause I admit my shameful deeds

Only Your power could sustain me
Only Your love could mend my brokenness
Only Your grace could save me
Only Your grace could put my soul to rest

I come to you on bended knee
My face is to the ground
I'm finding you despite all of this
Now I long to lift Your holy name

Only Your power could sustain me
Only Your love could mend my brokenness
Only Your grace could save me
Only Your grace could put my soul to rest

Send Your forgiveness
Let it reign down on me
Shower me with Your love
Fulfill my every need

Only Your power could sustain me
Only Your love could mend my brokenness
Only Your grace could save me
Only Your grace could put my soul to rest

I'm washed
I'm cleansed
I'm filled
I breathe again
I believe
I am free
I will live
Eternally

My Will Be A Dead Man

2007-07-16T16:54:00.000-05:00

My Will Be A Dead Man

There comes a time
When I must murder my will
I cry out to God –
RETURN, RETURN, RETURN
Take from me this struggle
God, my will be a dead man

On this day, on this profession
On Your sacrifice, on Your Son
With this bloody Messiah
Show me Your sorrow
Illuminate my eyes with Your love
Paint this landscape with Your blood

I’m still learning what it’s like to be free
It can no longer be me against me
How I must be consumed for the sake of You
This will be my legacy - let it take all of me
Show me who I am in the depths of Spirit and truth
Cause I've seen the face of redemption; I know it's You

Never Mine: A Song of Redemption

2007-07-03T11:20:00.000-05:00

I'm tired, can't keep focus anymore
I resisted, grabbed the reins and took control
It's brought me, nothing but wasted time
Leaving me alone and incomplete

Take this
My soul, My life
Take this
My all, it was never mine

I failed, threw it all way, but
You salvaged the broken, You made me whole
Now I wash my hands of my own existence
And I lay it at your feet...

Take this
My soul, My life
Take this
My all, it was never mine

This is my cry for freedom
This is my song of redemption
Because my heart isn't pure
And this could be my last shot at love...

=====================================

most of this was a song from my old band - Simplex Method. I can't remember who was the primary write (though it was probably Lance), however I redid some of it and also contributed at its inception back in the day.

Chasing After the Wind

2007-06-13T17:52:00.001-05:00

Music is an indirect force for change, because it provides an anchor against human tragedy. In this sense, it works towards a reconciled world. It can also be the direct experience of change. At certain points during some shows, the reconciled world is already here, at least in that second, at that place. Operation Ivy was very lucky to have experienced this. Those seconds reveal that the momentum that drives a subculture is more important than any particular band. The momentum is made of all the people who stay interested, and keep their sense of urgency and hope. (J. from Operation Ivy)

Chasing After the Wind

I've heard them call it a waste of time
Maybe just a chasing after the wind
But this is how I commune with God
Where I become a spiritual being again

Cause if I dance all night, sing all day,
Maybe at the break of the dawn,
In the cool grey of the morning,
My heart will finally find its calm.

I just wish I could see myself at the end
And know that I wasn’t just chasing after the wind
Cause time seems to keep ticking away
Till there’s nothing left, only yesterday

Redeem...

2007-06-10T22:37:00.001-05:00

I guess this is sort of my redemption song.

Redeem...

REDEEM...

I feel the weakness in my skin
No longer at peace
But at war from within

I cry in pain
But in Him I remain

Oh God, how I want to share Heaven with you...

If it wasn’t for this death kiss
My body’s natural affliction
Like a stinging cut to the wrist

I don’t want to do it on my own
I don’t want to end up in Hell all alone

Oh God, how I want to share Heaven with you...

Jehovah-rapha, I'd ask You to forgive me,
But I know Your help I'll deny,
I just don’t want to live another lie.

So all I can do is cry in pain,
Cry in pain for what remains.

Oh God, how I want to share Heaven with you...

I say to myself then, Will this be my ruin?
Should I hide inside my shadow
Till hellfire comes or I admit my wrongdoing?

Because what gets me is this quiet cull,
And so failure becomes my secret canticle.

Oh God, how I want to share Heaven with you...

And yes, I know Your story,
How You left Your Father in Heaven,
How You were emptied of all Your glory.

To be forsaken by the One You love,
You came to earth to die for those You love.

Oh God, how I want to share Heaven with you...

But I just stood there as we mocked Him,
Remembering, all You said was,
“Please… Father, forgive them.”

Telling us, Fight for the God of love.
Urging us, Fight for the God of love.

Oh God, how I want to share Heaven with you...

Lord, Your love never came in disguise,
You laid it all out there,
Only asking that we not compromise.

Help me rise above all of this impurity.
Grant me solace amidst my insecurity.

Oh God, how I want to share Heaven with you...

This isn’t just another dance,
It is my heart’s cry,
Calling once again for innocence.

Jah, You know, my heart’s rebellion is not of the chosen kind
Only the result of my inherent design.

Oh God, how I want to share Heaven with you...

Lord, I ask, for these things that I have seen and done,
Father, please forgive me,
Bless me in the sacrifice of Your Son.

So I surrender, I surrender all to You – All that I am, my pride, my anger
Just to get a glimpse – of Your hope, of Your love.

Oh God, how I want to share Heaven with you...

A Day's Refrain

2007-06-10T22:22:00.000-05:00

A Day’s Refrain

I’m not depressed tonight
More tired of this fight
Give up, give in
We can’t slip this skin

and in this day’s refrain
I hear the singing of no pain
Stepping up to forfeit
My struggle, I quit

No more will disdain
Ever again wear my name
Or unhappiness the same.
Why did I even play this game?

In it, I find no peace
Only disease without cease
And in this day’s refrain
I long to feel no pain

So just forfeit
Give up, give in - quit
Sweet release or serenity
I ask them to envelop me presently

God, for You how I long
Grab thy hand - be strong
May I come to You? Feel me.
A day’s refrain, can I see? Heal me.

Chase the Dawn

2006-11-02T19:39:00.000-06:00

Chase the Dawn

i need your brokenness,
cause i'm chasing the dark,
and i see your eyes,
speaking the way...

this time, I’m racing along
giving this sin
a fight that never ends -
chasing the dawn

now your eyes,
follow me here,
seeking my soul,
just leaving me bare

testing my will
my only chance
fading my heart
like storybook syntax

but when did I lose faith?
was it those promises,
I thought You never kept?
Or is it this heart that never heals?

But Your eyes
They follow me down
Seamless and sure
They leave me broken, in need of a cure

Stripping my soul
Leaving me hollow
With but a silhouette
Chasing the dawn

The Broken Heart of a Traitor

2006-11-02T19:35:00.000-06:00

The Broken Heart of a Traitor

This broken heart of a traitor,
Bound by the frailty of words.
Finds itself plagued by one question,
Is Your grace enough? (to heal the burned)

Oh how could I tempt fate again?
I'm not sure but today left with silence,
And these muddy waters come rushing in,
Taking what's left of my innocence.

God, I am Your imperfect creation,
struggling, striving forth
Fighting for that which is eternal
Fighting for that which is love.

But I find failure is my only real friend
That this tradition of defeat
Will try to claim me till the end.
Capturing me with the heresy in my heart.

But how do I stop my heart and my tongue,
From fanning the flames of unforgiveness?
My only hope is that this love suffers long
And rejoices in truth, rescuing me from my December.

I Remain...

2006-10-16T12:50:00.000-05:00

I Remain...

Captive to my sinful desires

I become burned beyond recognition

Melting to the image of this world

I am unrecognizable

Where do I go from here?

Who will embrace my pain?

Who will hide the tears?

In Him, I remain.

Camouflaged, I hide my face

Heart drenched in hopelessness

Captive to my faithlessness

This shadow descends upon me.

Where do I go from here?

Who will embrace my pain?

Who will hide the tears?

In Him, I remain.

Losing myself in compromise

I now have led to my demise

I become a martyr to this world

Because only in death, do I find life.

In Him, I remain

Strength of My Life

2006-09-24T01:31:00.000-05:00

All i feel is all i am,

held to nothing,

changing day by day,

forever downard it seems i go,

never thinking i'll find the right way.

stuck in this losing mindset,

failure is what i become,

cause this is all i feel.

forever downward it seems i go,

chasing all i think is real,

always forgetting what i already know.

blindly groping the air,

for what i know is not there.

forever downward it seems i go.

ignorant of where to step next,

its a situation leaving me quite perplexed.

now inaction has become my way of life.

never is this the solution for which i search,

forever downard it seems i go.

all this does is add to my strife,

and this peace i long for, on my fingertips it seems to perch.

seemingly to be almost within my grasp,

an illusion, never do i think over it my fist will clasp.

forever downard it seems i go.

please God, grab me with Your sovereign hand,

rip me from this life and mold me to Your plan.

never let me ago astray from what you have in mind,

cause all that seems to do is waste precious time.

forever with You, i pray i will walk.

this life i live, i renounce it now.

in front of You i wish to bow.

without spot and without blemish is how i am to be,

swathe me in Your blood, so in Your presence i can be eternally.

forever with You, i pray i will walk.

God, on my knees i come to You,

Be a light unto my feet is what i ask,

my desire is to perform Your holy task,

and to do all things i said i'd do.

forever with You, i pray i will walk.

Lord, always let me be found at Your side,

let me find the footsteps You've already laid in the sand,

i want to live my life where You abide,

and be found always within Your hand.

forever with You, i pray i wll be.

Your love, just pours out over me,

Thank you God for every breath,

thank you even for my death,

cause i know, in it, You is what i will see,

And forever with You, i know i will be.

Flag Burning - those damn hippies...

2006-07-06T13:05:00.000-05:00

Flag Burning Amendment Fails
66-34... pretty damn close

My main point is that something like burning the flag should never be banned. Though you and I may find it reprehensible, it is necessary for open and robust discourse. Open and robust discourse is the exact purpose of the First Amendment. Also, if you look at the history of what we call "free" speech (I use quotations b/c much speech is not free), you'll see that there exists a hierarchy of speech and the protection of that speech correlates to where it falls in that hierarchy.

Flag burning is considered "political speech." Political speech is the MOST protected form of speech. So if this were a Supreme Court decision (and it was in 1984) the Supreme Court would show deference to the speech. The thought is that you err on the side of letting too much in, rather than censoring too much out. This thought process is indicative of Oliver Wendell Holme's "marketplace of ideas" theory. Which in its most crude form, basically says, throw everything out there and let society deal with it. The better the idea, the more reverence society will pay it; thus it will rise to the top. The worse the idea, the quicker it will sink. It's basically derivative of capitalist thought but generally tends to work for speech.

So in the end, I say all this only to say that the ability to express your political views in the manner you see fit (so long as it does not infringe on other's rights) is one of the proudest traditions this country possesses. To take that away just because you find the action reprehensible is antithetical to American Constitutional thought/ideology. You cannot practice viewpoint discrimination when concerned with the methodology someone chooses to espouse their views.

HOWEVER, if Congress is able to pass the amendment and get it ratified by 38 of the 50 states, so be it. The voice of the people has spoken and that is exactly how you're supposed to do it Constitutionally. I would back that.

my tenure as president...

2006-05-30T22:36:00.000-05:00

Alright, here's the deal - I'm president of my law school this year.

So yeah, I think we're screwed or should I say - they - not we, cause I get to go to Hawaii for free and I get a $10,000 stipend!!! Badass, huh? Exactly.

I promise I'll take it seriously... at some point. You know, sometime after I'm tired of using it to hit on girls and get copious amounts of free food : )

These Dreams Are Made In Lies

2006-05-29T09:53:00.000-05:00

These Dreams Are Made In Lies...

If no one speaks a word
and this hope has to die
do i really need to tell you
that these dreams are made in lies?

Cause now that everything is burning,
This could be my last chance to breathe.
Do I really have to die alone?
Will my God come to find this need?

Can this sorrow carry me
To what I've heard others call
The most beautiful epiphany?

But everything is changing
Right before my eyes it's changing
But I'm still waiting
And You're giving it all away

You're holding on to the future
I'm holding on to the past
And this fear has come between us
I don't think we're ever going to last

I'm hurting from the inside
My life is in Your hands
Cleanse me from the inside

So I surrender, I surrender all to You
All that I am, my pride, my anger
Just to get a glimpse- of Your hope, of Your love
To grab hold of Your future

Tonight, now I am standing with You
It feels so perfect, You with me
My heart is beating for You
My last chance to breathe...

Stand Against The Wind...

2006-05-29T09:31:00.000-05:00

So living in Chicago, you are accosted by homeless people and needy people multiple times a day. They are sitting on the corner, they are walking down the street with you, they are trying to sell you a self-made newspaper. When you're around this all the time, your heart becomes callous towards them. You're just de-sensitized and that is a horrible thing. I claim to be a Christian- the fundamental tenet of my faith is love which, because of my callous heart, I don't see born out in my life on anything close to a near daily basis. This was a horrible realization for myself for I believe that without love, you have nothing. And so I started thinking, how did I get here? Do I really not care? Could I care again? From these thoughts, this poem was born. Enjoy.

Stand Against the Wind

Oh Lord, thank you for my call

For urging me to stand against the wind

Because I dont know how,

A man could be so callous that he doesnt recognize his kin

And I dont know how,

A man could be so jaded that he cant look past this skin

From where I stand I see,

Humanity stricken, tragedy given, love forsaken,

Now I dont know what its like,

To live in fear or live in silence with this ritual breaking

Awaiting compassions return

Hopefully coming on the next passing wind

So this is my prayer to Thee,

That we are no longer satisfied with complicity

Search our souls, find sincerity,

Do not let the world prostitutionalize me

Abhor the sleeping who dont see,

That in saving one life, you save the entire world manifestly

Cause from every heart you touch,
You hear innocence cry out this, our canticle
That the children are the image of the invisible
That we are all the image of the invisible,
And as sons and heirs of grace,
We cannot allow this, this quiet cull

for those of you out there who listen to Thrice religiously, the last verse is not a copy, I view it more as paying almage cause I love Thrice.

Come Waste Away With Me...

2006-05-29T09:18:00.000-05:00

Well, so Greg's urging finally got me here to do some posting. I assure nothing I say will be profound, thought-provoking or intelligent. However, it may be offensive, grating and/or downright awesome. You know why it'll be awesome? Cause I'm awesome - they don't call me the Hebrew Hammer for nothing!!! So keep checking in to see if I put anything. I'll probably be putting up poems that I have written. They usually suck but you should waste your time with them anyways.